Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Shared pain

So many times I feel so alone in all this, like no one will ever understand what pain my heart feels. The reality is that there is a whole network of baby lost mommys who have been there and have lost babies too. All have their own story and the saddest part is knowing that each involves a little baby just like you who never experienced life on earth or felt the warmth of the sun on their skin. I hurt knowing that all of these other mothers hurt just as I do and we all have lost a piece of who we are the day we lost our babies.
I dont want you to think that you are what makes mommy sad. I just miss you and wish that I could have had more time with you, taught you to throw a ball and see you off to your first day of school. Most of the memories I have of you are of the sad days in which we learned you had died and the even harder ones that have followed. Knowing that you are watching over me and your daddy makes my heart smile though. Each day I try to remember something happy about you, my little man. Your life was a gift to us and I am so thankful that God trusted us with you for those 17 weeks we had together.

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