Thursday, July 1, 2010


Reading a fellow baby loss mommys blog tonight, something that she said really struck me. I had never thought about my loss this way and it made me so very sad.
"I hate that the count will never end. It's not a count down... it's a count up to infinity- or at least, until I die too."

I remember learning in grade school that you could count forever, until infinity. I made up my mind that I would spend as long as it took to count until the very last number known to man and be the first woman ever to count to infinity...I was an optimist back then, not so much anymore. I will never get there, the only thing I know for sure anymore is that someday I will die and the "days since losing Dash count up" will turn into an eternity of "days in Heaven with Dash count up." I have a place and purpose here on earth, when that is fulfilled, I cant wait to dance, sing, laugh, and hold you in heaven.


  1. that is so sweet and so true. It may seem like an eternity away but we will have forever with our sons.

  2. My baby girl Abigail Eden was born into the arms of Jesus on April 13, 2010 (at just over 15 wks) Grief stinks and just as we count the weeks we are pregnant we count the weeks we are not. I am praying for you!

  3. That is the truth I hold onto as well...that I will be with my son in eternity...for now I have the purpose of being a good mommy to Ryan and Aaron.